12.01.2017

As 2018 Looms...

As 2018 looms, here I am, finishing up "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac. Been freelancing for a start up in the crypto world and it's been destroying me inside out, brewing an anger towards all things with screens. I hate the digital world. JK. I work and breathe it.


ON THE ROAD (1959)
by Jack Kerouac

But then they danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!” What did they call such young people in Goethe’s Germany? 
— pg. 5-6

I heard a great laugh, the greatest laugh in the world, and here came this rawhide oldtimer Nebraska farmer with a bunch of other boys into the diner; you could hear his raspy cries clear across the plains, across the whole gray world of them that day. Everybody else laughed with him. He didn’t have a care in the world and had the hugest regard for everybody. I said to myself, Wham, listen to that man laugh. That’s the West, here I am in the West. He came booming into the diner, calling Maw’s name, and she made the sweetest cherry pie in Nebraska, and I had some with a mountainous scoop of ice cream on top. 
— pg. 18-19

Carlo’s basement apartment was on Grant Street in an old redbrick rooming house near a church. You went down an alley, down some stone steps, opened an old raw door, and went through a kind of cellar till you came to his board door. It was like the room of a Russian saint: one bed, a candle burning, stone walls that oozed moisture, and a crazy makeshift ikon of some kind that he had made. He read me his poetry.
— pg. 47

Then I went to meet Rita Bettencourt and took her back to the apartment. I got her in my bedroom after a long talk in the dark of the front room. She was a nice little girl, simple and true, and tremendously frightened of sex. I told her it was beautiful. I wanted to prove this to her. She let me prove it, but I was too impatient and proved nothing. She sighed in the dark. “What do you want out of life” I asked, and I used to ask that all the time of girls.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Just wait on tables and try to get along.” She yawned. I put my hand over her mouth and told her not to yawn. I tried to tell her how excited I was about life and the things we could do together; saying that, and planning to leave Denver in two days. She turned away wearily. We lay on our backs, looking at the ceiling and wondering what God had wrought when He made life so sad. We made vague plans to meet in Frisco. 
— pg. 57-58

And guess what. There was a movie, too!!! The trailer looks so awful and SO BORING.
Probably why it's got terrible reviews. This kind of storyline should never get told on film, it's just everyday life. It works as a novel, because you can turn everyday moments into something more everlasting and grandiose with magic of words.


His tone was clear as a bell, high, pure, and blew straight in our faces from two feet away. Dean stood in front of him, oblivious to everything else in the world, with his head bowed, his hands socking in together, his whole body jumping on his heels and the sweat, always the sweat, pouring and splashing down his tormented collar to lie actually in a pool at his feet. Galatea and Marie were there, and it took us five minutes to realize it. Whoo, Frisco nights, the end of the continent and the end of doubt, all dull doubt and tomfoolery, good-by.
— pg. 202

There here came a gang of young bop musicians carrying their instruments out of cars. They piled right into a saloon and we followed them. They set themselves up and started blowing. There we were! The leader was a slender, drooping, curly-haired, pursy-mouthed tenorman, thin of shoulder, draped loose in a sports shirt, cool in the warm night, self-indulgence written in his eyes, who picked up his horn and frowned in it and blew cool and complex and was dainty stamping his foot to catch ideas, and ducked to miss others—and said, “Blow,” very quietly when the other boys took solos. 

— pg. 240


Anyways, all in all, great read. Great escape. It's now versed out again on a digital space. And now I have to return to my Skype chats with my Moscow developers, the Telegram messages, the graphs, the website edits, etc.

Wishing to dream about a road trip in a Caddy tonight.

9.02.2015

Before & After





Everyday, she wakes with a headache that cannot be cured with two quad tall americanos nor another can of red bull. Maybe it was stimulated by the uneasiness of her life these days and the leaps that she should make--but denies. She used to think a lot and make seemingly good decisions, but these days, she does this less and less as she refuses to think. Because of her headache.

Her friends have dwindled to be those of no vocabulary sets. Her friends and her have engaged in numerous activities that would have accounted for that though. So you know, no faults. C'est la vie. Shit happens. Lassez faire.

Today we will follow her through her day. We will count how many mistakes she makes and mark down where she fails to optimize her difficult situations and leverage her potential greatness. We will observe how many drinks she ends up drinking to kill her pounding headache and how many strangers she offends with her nonchalant rudeness. In the end, we shall deem if she is indeed a super anxious person suffering from internal conflict against her true self or rather a person made of so much fluff that she has been the most waste of our time to follow. --20150314


*** DIGEST ***
...THEN START FRESH...





Because she realized that life goes on.


2.22.2015

An excerpt from Short Story #1




She nurtured her knowledge of everyday life patterns as well as the worldly matters that she was not—and never going to be—involved with. She was not that important. To be honest, this revelation was what had brought her down and had her make her businesses to a humble number. At one moment, she was convinced that the city needed her and the city regarded this as true for she fluttered from one end to the other blowing life to the most boring people and common events. But at the end of the day, such life she endorsed and generated was merely youth, and we all know that youth passes. She had woken up one day and youth graduated from her soul and mind. It had sowed the seeds of cynicism into her waves—internally destroying her gaiety. She woke up a beaten soul and she was no longer important to anyone, even to herself.



--c-a-t-c-h-m-e-i-f-y-o-u-c-a-n--
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