for the sake of it. it, being this blog.

Another Excerpt

BGM: L'Amour Stories by DEERHOOF

I had a dream – and it wasn’t about going somewhere. It was a dream about already being there; that “somewhere.”
I never saw myself, but I saw my hands and feet. They were connected to all the right limbs and I felt light weight; I was ready to fly!
Holding on to a heavy camel envelope, it was my portfolio of my pop-up stores – including a Candy Crush pop up store; now that one was brilliantly sleek with white curvy walls and large-size blow up candies with the special candies from the game being even larger! It was a large selection of print outs of all the ones I did and I was bringing it to the newly upgraded office of University of British Columbia’s to see the dean. Turns out, my uncle is the newly appointed head of I-don’t-even-know-what and there were all these kids in the lobby for a more “human” and “nice” effect apparently. Oh, so in this future, kids are merely accessories. Nice. I love this world.
And as soon as I opened the doors to the dean’s office, things spiraled out of control and I couldn’t handle the air pressure. I couldn’t breathe. The chaos continued and I saw my portfolio of pop-up stores and my coworkers’ faces fly into the air, the world flipped and gravity – what is gravity? French, German, and Russian lyrics floated in the air and I snapped my hands at them trying to get them away. They came at me in subtitles like a rope, trying to tie me down. Snap, slap, snap, slap.
Snap.
Slap.
Fuck.

With colleagues + photographer Kim Jungman during the Eyes of Vega exhibition at PLATOON. 

such personal k-times

Honestly speaking, there's not much happening in Seoul in my personal bubble, however, I don't know why I'm always out of time. I have a really different set of priorities in Seoul and I think it's deteriorating me bit by bit. But I'm growing.
And now, I am obviously not making any sense by contradicting myself.

Just look at some pics okay?

BGM: 서울은 흐림 (cloudy seoul) by 못 (Mot)

peace out

Everyday moments

Screen cap: 

CRY + LAUGH

RAAAAAAANT

APPARENTLY A BLOG IS WHERE YOU RANT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND THEN HAVE EVERYONE READ IT AND THEN SECRETLY HATE YOU FOR RANTING SO MUCH.

Therefore

I don't want to rant.

I really want to wail.

But I will wait.

And whisper

in a small little voice

perchance husky as my mother calls it

in my morning voice

into your ear

with small

tears

by the corners of my eyes

"how come I'm here
I'm finally doing everything for myself
but I'm not myself"

breathe
weep

"and I'm doing everything else than whatever
I want to be doing for myself...
at this moment."

sigh
smile

"Lack of sleep, maybe," you may reply.

Prayin' hard

Posting at work

Life is wheezing by and I am an outsider.
Actually, let me rephrase that.

I'M A FOOKEN NOOB.

Seoul's very big and big and busy and did I say big?
Seoul is familiar yet unfamiliar.

The thing is, I can't formally formulate this... uncomfortable feeling of not knowing... a lot of the ins & outs. I know Vancouver as if it's the palm of my hand (I know the city's size is VASTLY different) but I know Vancouver's insides, too, you know? I'm confident.

Here I flounder through buildings, people, signs, cigarette smoke, dirty air, systems, structure, unknown language, and mannerisms in a tired state. I'm grateful for all the things I flounder through. But why do I have to do this alone and... in a tired state. I hate that word, TIRED. So I keep myself up high with my mentality just floating up there. But the comfort ain't here. Not in my body and not here. Not yet.

cheerios~