Before & After

Everyday, she wakes with a headache that cannot be cured with two quad tall americanos nor another can of red bull. Maybe it was stimulated by the uneasiness of her life these days and the leaps that she should make--but denies. She used to think a lot and make seemingly good decisions, but these days, she does this less and less as she refuses to think. Because of her headache.

Her friends have dwindled to be those of no vocabulary sets. Her friends and her have engaged in numerous activities that would have accounted for that though. So you know, no faults. C'est la vie. Shit happens. Lassez faire.

Today we will follow her through her day. We will count how many mistakes she makes and mark down where she fails to optimize her difficult situations and leverage her potential greatness. We will observe how many drinks she ends up drinking to kill her pounding headache and how many strangers she offends with her nonchalant rudeness. In the end, we shall deem if she is indeed a super anxious person suffering from internal conflict against her true self or rather a person made of so much fluff that she has been the most waste of our time to follow. --20150314

*** DIGEST ***

...THEN START FRESH...

Because she realized that life goes on.

An excerpt from Short Story #1

She nurtured her knowledge of everyday life patterns as well as the worldly matters that she was not—and never going to be—involved with. She was not that important. To be honest, this revelation was what had brought her down and had her make her businesses to a humble number. At one moment, she was convinced that the city needed her and the city regarded this as true for she fluttered from one end to the other blowing life to the most boring people and common events. But at the end of the day, such life she endorsed and generated was merely youth, and we all know that youth passes. She had woken up one day and youth graduated from her soul and mind. It had sowed the seeds of cynicism into her waves—internally destroying her gaiety. She woke up a beaten soul and she was no longer important to anyone, even to herself.

--c-a-t-c-h-m-e-i-f-y-o-u-c-a-n--

@IAMPURPOSE on tumblr

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— 1:06 am 20150106

And she came from nowhere in the midst of all her hardcore drug habits, she came from nowhere 

the sanity.

Like a blast of the gardens exploding through a greenhouse

Like the tabs of a window filling up quietly and then falling out of the laptop screen completely 

It was something that we all have visions of but never see

Because all is never true nor real

And this is why we imagine and long for that virtual reality where nothing real is sane and nothing happening is structured

Where we can talk as so and still be a nobel prize winner (or an exemplary scholar)

A leader like that of Obama and Genghis Khan

and be mint

pristine

grey

dark

solid and gradient

liquid and hard

bones and beauty 

all that matters is you

to God we pray for the future

and The Sanity.

— 1:06 am 20150106

Lost (Succumbed)

To Cute Girls
And
Wrong Thoughts
Plus
The Probability
Of
Pursuing Happiness.